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Introduction
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"Because of the harmful effects on children, parental kidnapping has
been characterized as a form of child abuse" reports Patricia Hoff,
Legal Director for the Parental Abduction Training and Dissemination Project, American Bar Association on Children and the Law. Hoff explains:
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"Abducted children suffer emotionally and sometimes physically at the
hands of abductor-parents. Many children are told the other parent is
dead or no longer loves them. Uprooted from family and friends,
abducted children often are given new names by their abductor-parents
and instructed not to reveal their real names or where they lived
before." (Hoff, 1997) |
As an early leader in the relatively new field of parental child
abduction issues, Dr. Dorothy Huntington wrote an article published in
1982, Parental Kidnapping: A New Form of Child Abuse.
Huntington contends that from the point of view of the child, "child
stealing is child abuse." According to Huntington, "in child stealing
the children are used as both objects and weapons in the struggle
between the parents which leads to the brutalization of the children
psychologically, specifically destroying their sense of trust in the
world around them." Because of the events surrounding parental child
abduction, Huntington emphasizes that "we must reconceptualize child
stealing as child abuse of the most flagrant sort" (Huntington, 1982,
p. 7).
There is an unfortunate and evident paucity of literature on parental
child abduction. Just during the past two decades, Huntington (1982),
Greif and Hegar (1993), and others have begun addressing concerns for
children kidnapped by their parent abductors. With growing concerns for
abducted children, some experts have coined terms like "Parental
Alienation" to describe the potential negative impact on child victims.
Regardless of the specific terms designed to illustrate the effects of
parental child abduction, there is general consensus that the children
are the resultant casualties.
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Risk Factors
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Post-divorce parental child stealing has been on the increase since the
mid-1970s, paralleling the rising divorce rate and the escalating
litigation over child custody (Huntington, 1986). According to Hoff
(1997), "The term 'parental kidnapping' encompasses the taking,
retention or concealment of a child by a parent, other family member,
or their agent, in derogation of the custody rights, including
visitation rights, of another parent or family member."
The abductor parent may move from one state to another, beginning a new
round of investigation into the abuse with each move, impeding
intervention by child protective services (Jones, Lund & Sullivan,
1996). Or, the abductor may flee to another country, completely
shutting down any hopes of involvement by child protective services in
the country of origin. The most pervasive scenario is that the
abducting parent goes into hiding, or moves beyond the jurisdiction of
governing law.
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"These kidnappings are very cleverly plotted and planned and often
involve the assistance of family members. The target parent has no
forwarding address or telephone numbers." (Clawar & Rivlin, p. 115)
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Huntington and others believe that inherent in the act of kidnapping
and concealment are negative consequences for the child victims. It is
Huntington's contention that one of the most concerning factors is that
the parent has fled and "is out of reach of law and child protection
agencies." To escape discovery the abductor parent is hiding out, --
"so who knows what is happening with child!" (Huntington, 1982).
The abducted child is without the safeguards normally provided by child
law. This leaves the child completely vulnerable to the dictates of the
abductor parent, who, as evidenced in the following research by Johnson
and Girdner, may not have the child's best interests in mind, or may be
functioning with severe impediments.
A study entitled Prevention of Parent or Family Abduction through Early Identification of Risk Factors
was conducted by Dr. Janet Johnston (Judith Wallerstein Center for the
Family in Transition) and Dr. Linda Girdner (ABA Center on Children and
the Law). The researchers detailed six risk parent profiles for
abduction:
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1. | Have threatened to abduct or abducted previously;
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2. | Are suspicious and distrustful due to a belief abuse has occurred;
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3. | Are paranoid-delusional;
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4. | Are sociopathic;
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5. | Have strong ties to another country; and
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6. | Feel disenfranchised from the legal system.
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These findings by Johnston and Girdner pose a bleak prognosis for children held at the hands of such inept parents.
According to Rand, an abducting parent views the child's needs as
secondary to the parental agenda which is to provoke, agitate, control,
attack or psychologically torture the other parent. "It should come as
no surprise, then, that post-divorce parental abduction is considered a
serious form of child abuse" (Rand, 1997).
It is generally accepted that children are emotionally impacted by
divorce. Children of troubled abductor parents bear an even greater
burden. "The needs of the troubled parent override the developmental
needs of the child, with the result that the child becomes
psychologically depleted and their own emotional and social progress is
crippled" (Rand, 1997). Since the problem of parental child abduction
is known to occur in divided parents rather than in united and intact
families, the inordinate emotional burdens compound abduction trauma.
Rand reports that although Wallerstein is familiar with Parental
Alienation Syndrome, Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1989) prefer the term
"overburdened child" to describe this problem.
In custody disputes and abductions, the extended support systems of the
parents can become part of the dispute scenario, -- leading to a type
of "tribal warfare" (Johnston & Campbell, 1988). Believing
primarily one side of the abduction story, -- family, friends, and
professionals may lose their objectivity. As a result, protective
concerns expressed by the abandoned parent may be viewed as undue
criticism, interference, and histrionics. Thus, the abandoned parent
may be ineffectual in relieving the trauma imposed on an innocent child
by the parental abduction.
Generally the abductor does not even speak of the abandoned parent and
waits patiently for time to erase probing questions, like "When can we
see mom (dad) again?". "These children become hostages ... it remains
beyond their comprehension that a parent who really cares and loves
them cannot discover their whereabouts" (Clawar & Rivlin, p. 115).
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Impact of Parental Child Abduction
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Children who have been psychologically violated and maltreated through
the act of abduction, are more likely to exhibit a variety of
psychological and social handicaps. These handicaps make them
vulnerable to detrimental outside influences (Rand, 1997). Huntington
(1982) lists some of the deleterious effects of parental child
abduction on the child victim:
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1. | Depression;
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2. | Loss of community;
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3. | Loss of stability, security, and trust;
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4. | Excessive fearfulness, even of ordinary occurrences;
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5. | Loneliness;
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6. | Anger;
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7. | Helplessness;
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8. | Disruption in identity formation; and
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9. | Fear of abandonment.
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Many of these untoward effects can be subsumed under the problems
relevant to Reactive Attachment Disorder, the diagnostic categories in
the following section, and the sections on fear, of abandonment,
learned helplessness, and guilt, that follow.
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Reactive Attachment Disorder.
Attachment is the deep and enduring connection established between a
child and caregiver in the first few years of life. It profoundly
influences every component of the human condition, -- mind, body,
emotions, relationships, and values. Children lacking secure
attachments with caregivers often become angry, oppositional,
antisocial, and may grow up to be parents who are incapable of
establishing this crucial foundation with their own children (Levy
& Orlans, 1999).
Children who lack permanence in their lives often develop a
"one-day-at-a-time" perspective of life, which effects appropriate
development of the cognitive-behavioral chain -- thoughts, feelings,
actions, choices, and outcomes. "They think, 'I've been moved so many
times, I'll just be moved again. So why should I care?'" (ACE, 1999).
Stringer (1999) and other experts on attachment disorder concur that
the highest risk occurs during the first few years of life. This
disorder is classified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) as Reactive Attachment Disorder. According to
Stringer, common causes of attachment problems are:
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1. | Sudden or traumatic
separation from primary caretaker (through death, illness hospitalization
of caretaker, or removal of child);
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2. | Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse;
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3. | Neglect (of physical or emotional needs);
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4. | Frequent moves and/or placements;
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5. | Inconsistent or inadequate care
at home or in day care (care must include holding, talking, nurturing, as well
as meeting basic physical needs); and
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6. | Chronic depression of primary caretaker.
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It is evident that these causality factors would place at high risk
children who are subjected to similar conditions in the circumstances
of parental kidnapping.
Attachment is the reciprocal process of emotional connection. This
fundamental and necessary developmental process influences a child's
physical, cognitive, and psychological development. It becomes the
basis for development of basic trust or mistrust, and shapes how the
child will relate to the world, how the child will learn, and how the
child will form relationships throughout life. "If this process is
disrupted, the child may not develop the secure base necessary to
support all future healthy development" (Stringer, 1999).
Stringer (1999), Van Bloem (1999), The Attachment Center (ACE, 1999),
and criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders (DSM-IV, 1994) identify a significant and troubling list of
behaviors associated with problematic attachment:
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1. | Unable to engage in satisfying reciprocal relationships;
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2. | Superficially engaging, charming (not genuine);
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3. | Lack of eye contact;
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4. | Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers;
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5. | Lack of ability to give and receive affection on parents' terms (not cuddly);
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6. | Inappropriately demanding and clingy;
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7. | Poor peer relationships;
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8. | Low self esteem;
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9. | Affectionate with strangers or attempts to leave with strangers;
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10. | Refuses, resists, or is uncomfortable with affection on parental terms;
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11. | Incessant chatter or nonsense questions;
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12. | Hyperactive, over-active, or attention deficit;
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13. | Poor, underdeveloped, or no conscience;
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14. | Hoarding, gorging, eating abnormalities, or hiding food;
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15. | Intense control battles;
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16. | Significant learning problems or lags;
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17. | Fire setting, fire play, or fascination with fire;
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18. | Daily lying or lying in the face of the obvious;
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19. | Fascination with weapons, blood, or gore;
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20. | Destructive to self or others; and
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21. | Cruelty to animals, siblings, or others.
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This unsettling list of disturbances and other constellations of
behaviors exhibited by abducted children comprises criteria from
various childhood disorder categories of the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders that might lead one to rule out the
following diagnoses:
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1. | Reactive Attachment Disorder of Infancy or Early Childhood;
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2. | Separation Anxiety Disorder;
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3. | Overanxious Disorder of Childhood;
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4. | Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder;
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5. | Conduct Disorder;
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6. | Disruptive Behavior Disorder;
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7. | Oppositional Defiant Disorder;
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8. | Eating Disorders;
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9. | Learning Disorder NOS;
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10. | Regression and Elimination Disorders: Encopresis and Enuresis; and
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11. | Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
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As a relatively new diagnosis to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
of Mental Disorders, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), also known as
Attachment Disorder (AD), is often misunderstood, and relatively
unknown (ACE, 1999). Although the official DSM-IV diagnosis may be
overlooked by some professionals, the phenomenon of attachment disorder
was observed 50 years ago by Rene Spitz in the well known monkey
studies. Spitz reported that infant monkeys may actually die if they
are not played with, talked to, held, stroked, and tended. Some species
of young monkeys die when abandoned. Even a brief separation of infant
monkeys from their mothers is seen two years later, causing the infants
to be more timid, clingy, and relate poorly to others.
Humans are social animals. If abandoned as an infant or young child, we
may first protest by screaming, then quietly withdraw; finally, we
become detached and apathetic. Abandoned, we may joylessly play some
with others, but there is no emotional involvement (Tucker-Ladd, 1960).
The DSM-IV (1994) defines Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) as
markedly disturbed and developmentally inappropriate social relatedness
in most contexts, beginning before age five. According to Van Bloem
(1999), inexperienced professionals often misdiagnose Reactive
Attachment Disorder (RAD) as Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Attention
Deficit Disorder, Depression, Autism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder,
Bipolar Disorder, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Other
experts in RAD estimate that this disorder has been misdiagnosed as
Bi-Polar Disorder or Attention Deficit Disorder in 40 to 70 percent of
the cases (ACE, 1999).
Bloem (1999) suggests that Reactive Attachment Disorder is often
accompanied by other diagnosis listed above, but that Attachment
Disorder most often needs to be the primary diagnosis and the focus of
early intervention. Some professionals may mildly disagree with Bloem's
preferred diagnostic perspective; however, most would agree that the
resultant trauma to a child, -- who in a moment was stolen away from
his or her entire world of familiarity, -- is emotionally,
developmentally, and psychologically devastating.
Van Bloem (1999) reports that for a child "it is not possible to
develop true self-esteem and find peace without resolving differences
and emotional pain due to stressed or damaged emotional ties to parents
and family." According to Van Bloem, attachment helps the child to:
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1. | Attain full intellectual potential;
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2. | Sort out perceptions;
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3. | Think logically;
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4. | Develop a conscience;
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5. | Become self-reliant;
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6. | Cope with stress and frustration;
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7. | Handle fear and worry;
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8. | Develop future relationships; and
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9. | Reduce jealousy (Van Bloem, 1999).
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The words "attachment" and "bonding" are used interchangeably. These
bonding impaired individuals typically fail to develop a conscience and
do not learn how to trust. With Attachment Disorder, individuals have
difficulty forming intimate lasting relationships (ACE, 1999). Children
with attachment disturbance often project an image of self-sufficiency
and charm, while masking inner feelings of insecurity and self hate.
Unfortunately, such children do not respond well to traditional
parenting or therapy, since both rely on the child's ability to form
relationships (Stringer, 1999).
Adult survivors of abuse may experience long term or chronic lifetime
symptoms resulting from childhood trauma. For example, a person who has
been physically abused might suffer from depression or anxiety. A
victim of childhood sexual abuse might exhibit symptoms of
Posttraumatic Stress, or other disorders as evidenced in the DSM-IV
criteria of adult mental health disorders, such as:
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1. | Agoraphobia
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2. | Posttraumatic Stress Disorder
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3. | Dissociative Identity Disorder
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4. | Dysthymic Disorder
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5. | Substance Abuse or Dependency
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6. | Generalized Anxiety Disorder
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7. | Major Depressive Disorder
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8. | Panic Attacks or Panic Disorder
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9. | Borderline Personality Disorder
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All too often, children suffering from Reactive Attachment Disorder go
untreated and become adults without conscience (Antisocial Personality
Disorder) and without concern for anyone but themselves. "Parental
dreams are lost, and they grow up uncaring and without social
conscience" (ACE, 1999).
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Learned Helplessness.
The concept of learned helplessness is based on the highly respected
work of Seligman in 1975, when he observed this helpless condition
among animals that were unable to alter their environment. Seligman
subjected dogs to random shocks at variable intervals that were
completely unrelated to their volitional behaviors. Nothing the dogs
could do would protect them from being shocked. Under this experimental
treatment, the dogs became passive and refused to leave their cages,
even though the cage doors were eventually left open as the shock
treatments continued.
"The key to the learned helplessness model is punishment that is
totally unrelated to the victim's behavior, that is, the victim does
not have to do anything wrong to be punished" (Lalli, 1997). As a
consequence, the victim places him or herself under a virtual house
arrest without informed judgment that includes facts of the situation.
In the situation of parental abduction, the child victim often does not
know why he or she has been abducted, has no control over the
situation, and even though there may be very strong feelings of anger,
frustration and confusion, -- the totality of helplessness may result
in a yielding to the circumstances. This yielding and superficial
appearance of resolution to the circumstance may be the result of
complete devastation, lack of control, and total helplessness, --
rather than acceptance.
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Fear and Phobias.
Most phobias are groundless and excessive, such as fears of crowds,
small spaces, addressing large groups, and heights. These fears of
harmless situations may be associated with fantasies of horrible
consequences, like the fear of public speaking. Thus, frightening and
irrational thoughts of what might happen become paired with the real
situation, which in turn produces a fear reaction. For example, at
night a child has fantasies of demons lurking under the bed and in the
closet. The stronger the fantasies, the worse the fear when the lights
are turned off. Soon, the fears will occur prior to bedtime, from
anticipation of being in the dark.
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"Likewise, most of us have at least a mild fear of the dark. Relatively
few people have been attacked in the dark, no one by ghosts or
monsters. Yet, at age 3 or 4 (as soon as our imagination develops
enough) we begin fantasizing scary creatures lurking in the dark. Our
own fantasies create our fear of the dark." (Tucker-Ladd, 1960)
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Children who are abducted have been stripped of almost everything
familiar - toys, personal possessions, playmates, relatives, teachers,
the neighborhood, playgrounds, favorite shopping and eating places, --
daily routine -- and a parent. Suddenly snatched from all that is
familiar and deposited without adequate preparation into a completely
new environment, -- fear of the unknown, future events, emotional
safety, and physical safety can run rampant and become irrational. The
real threat becomes even more exaggerated and capacities to deal with
the threat seem completely inadequate. "This is horrible, out of my
control, and I can't deal with it." Overwhelmed with the stress of new
stimuli and unable to make sense of the situation may lead the child to
excessive anxiety and fears, which in turn may develop into chronic
anxiety, stress reactions, depression, paranoia and/or other
complications discussed in the following sections.
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Stress and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
One of the leaders in theories of anxiety, Hans Selye spent a life-time
studying stress and postulated that almost any change is a stressor,
since there is a resultant demand to deal with a new situation. If
normal daily stressors are increased to unusual and traumatic events,
like child abduction, the short and long term impact may significantly
impair development and functioning, -- even into adulthood.
There are three stages in General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS). In the
alarm stage, physiological changes occur, -- the heart beats faster,
respiration increases and becomes more labored, senses become at least
temporarily more alert, perspiration occurs, -- all preparing the body
to flee or attack. The body responds with panic, a reaction to the
fight or flight dilemma. Under continued stress, the second stage
begins, -- resistance. The body becomes weary and attempts to adjust
and adapt to the stress. Despite efforts to adapt, the autonomic system
is still working overtime.
If the stress is extended (days, weeks, and months), resistance is
further depleted and exhaustion occurs. Energy to continue stress
adaptation is depleted. The body gives up, with some resultant damage
potentially occurring, -- particularly to the heart, kidneys, and
stomach. Commonly, psychosomatic disorders occur. These somatic
disorders are psychologically mediated physical difficulties, like
lethargy, pain, hypertension, headaches, abdominal and gastric
distress, and sleep disorders. Feelings of hopelessness and a state of
confusion generally accompany the physical symptoms and decision-making
deteriorates under intense or prolonged stress.
Extensive replicated research findings have demonstrated these
psychosomatic and physiologically damaging consequences may also occur
as a result of extended stress from circumstances of childhood trauma.
The potential for harmful effects of divorce on children has been
widely substantiated. Stress has been documented to alter the brain,
cardiovascular systems, immune systems, and hormonal system. For
example, it has been discovered that female adult survivors of
childhood sexual abuse have a smaller hippocampus than non-abused
women. Stress symptoms that are evident as an adult may be due to
occurrences from many years prior, e.g., the long term effects of
divorce, such as a fear of intimacy, may occur much later in life, --
10 or 15 years later.
In children, extended stress may result in regression of behaviors,
like age inappropriate thumbsucking, excessive clingyness, unexplained
crying, bedwetting, and temper tantrums.
Prolonged and unresolved stress may also manifest in displacement, the
redirection of impulses (often anger) from the real threat to an
innocent and safer person. Often, the redirection is because the threat
is too dangerous to confront. This may be the case in an abducted child
who redirects his or her anger from the abductor to another person,
possibly the abandoned parent for not rescuing and restoring life to
the way it had been. Another form of displacement is internal. Instead
of displacing hostility to another person, it is turned inward, against
oneself. This is not uncommon in depression and suicide.
Extended stress and frustration to resolve the conflict, in an effort
to relieve the anxiety, may result in reaction formation, -- denial and
reversal of feelings. Love becomes hate, or hate becomes love. For
example, with a problem between a parent and child, the child may
express the anger through exaggeration of affection. In this situation,
the child may superficially appear to be closely bonded with the parent
who is contributing to the stress; if asked, the child will attest to a
strong and loving parent-child relationship.
Yet another stress reaction is identification, -- the process of
attempting to bond with the person responsible for the stressors and
becoming like the abuser to diminish the conflictual anxiety. As an
example, some sexual assault victims have been known to identify
strongly with offenders, even to the point of developing intimate
relationships with incarcerated abusers. In these situations, the
victim may emulate and become more and more like the abuser.
Identification with and emulation of the offender is particularly true
in cases of child sexual assault victims who become adult offenders. In
parental child abductions, some children have been known to identify
with the abducting parent, to the point of completely rejecting and
blaming the abandoned parent, despite evidence absent blame.
Stress also generally interferes with performance, resulting in
inhibited learning, poor decision-making, and resulting in restricted
development. Intense and prolonged stress, especially in childhood, may
create an overreaction to stress, -- even years later. Intense
reactions to stress and resultant failures become a self perpetuating
cycle, creating more stress and more failure. Continued failure breeds
the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, which circles back to
learned helplessness and giving up.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder is more intense than the normal anxiety
generally experienced day to day. It's chronic and exaggerated worry
and tension, even though time has passed, the circumstance has changed,
and there seems to be nothing evident that will continue to provoke
anxiety. Having this disorder means anticipating disaster and
experiencing excessive concerns about health, money, family, or work.
The problems generalize to other situations in life, become
self-sustaining, and the original stressors are then difficult to
identify.
People suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder cannot seem to
control or manage their concerns, even though they may realize their
anxiety is more intense than the situation warrants. They seem unable
to relax, often have trouble falling or staying asleep, with worries
that are accompanied by physical symptoms, like twitching, muscle
tension, headaches, irritability, sweating, or hot flashes. There may
be feelings of being lightheaded, out of breath, nauseated or an
urgency to urinate; or, there may be an almost constant feeling of
having a lump in the throat. There may be a heightened startle
response, lethargy, or difficulty concentrating. If severe,
manifestations of Generalized Anxiety Disorder can be very
debilitating, making it difficult to carry out even the most ordinary
daily activities (DSM-IV, 1994).
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Guilt.
It is difficult for some to understand the guilt felt by a victim,
particularly when the victim is a child. Survivors of childhood sexual
abuse continue to remind us that they felt guilt -- guilt that they may
have in some way brought on the abuse, guilt for feeling some sensate
pleasure, guilt for destruction of the family constellation when the
abuse was discovered, and guilt for legal consequences to the offender.
Literature on divorce is deplete with references to children feeling
that they had somehow brought about difficulties between their parents
and were responsible for the culminating division of the family. The
guilt of abducted children is not dissimilar.
"These children are extremely guilty when they return and are very
fearful of the reaction of the other parent. They do not know who to
believe, the are bewildered and very fearful. Many children have a
sense that the stealing was their fault and that it could have been
avoided. They feel to blame for both the stealing and for the divorce.
Many of the older children feel very guilty about not having tried to
contact the parent victim. These children feel it is not possible to
have a relationship with both parents, and they are town between them.
It is not uncommon to see total confusion when they are returned,
particularly with a sense of being returned to a stranger."
(Huntington, 1982, p. 8)
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Acute Stress Disorder and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.
The diagnoses of Acute Stress Disorder and Posttraumatic Stress
Disorder are commonly applied by professionals to victims of abuse
situations, such as sexual abuse and child abduction, when the
presenting symptoms and applicable conditions apply. According to the
criteria of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
(1994), a person suffering from Acute Stress Disorder has been exposed
to a traumatic event in which both of the following were present:
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1. | The
person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or
events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a
threat to the physical integrity of self or others;
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2. | The person's response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror.
|
|
Either while experiencing or after experiencing the distressing event,
the individual has three (or more) of the following dissociative
symptoms:
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1. | A subjective sense of numbing, detachment, or absence of emotional responsiveness;
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2. | A reduction in awareness of his or her surroundings (e.g., "being in a daze");
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3. | Derealization;
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4. | Depersonalization;
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5. | Dissociative amnesia (i.e., inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma).
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Like many reactive effects and symptoms discussed in the sections
above, this diagnostic category also includes marked symptoms of
anxiety or increased arousal (e.g., difficulty sleeping, irritability,
poor concentration, hypervigilance, exaggerated startle response, motor
restlessness). A victim of abuse may meet the criteria for this
diagnosis when the disturbance causes clinically significant distress
or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of
functioning; or, when the disturbance impairs the individual's ability
to pursue some necessary task, such as obtaining necessary assistance
or mobilizing personal resources by telling family members about the
traumatic experience.
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Parental Alienation and the Overburdened Child.
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"Physical kidnapping situations leave children extremely susceptible to
indoctrination against a target parent. Often the operating strategy is
to frighten the child into believing that the only way to exist is to
escape some ambiguous harm that is to be inflicted upon the parent,
child or both of them by the target parent" (Clawar & Rivlin, p.
115).
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In Children Held Hostage: Dealing With Programmed and Brainwashed Children,
Clawar and Rivlin detail signs of abduction victim "maladjustment that
go beyond the impact of separation and divorce" (p. 129). The authors
delineate these parental child abduction consequences as "specifically
related to the effects of brainwashing and programming." Clawar and
Rivlin list 25 resultant manifestations, including anger, loss of
self-confidence and self-esteem, development of fears and phobias,
depression, sleep disorders, and eating disorders.
"Brainwashing" and "programming" are terms used more and more
frequently by experts of parental child abduction. These term may
initially offend or alienate the reader who is not familiar with
Parental Alienation and abduction dynamics. "Brainwashing" and
"programming" -- or changing a child's belief systems, -- may be
intentional, or, it may be the unintentional process of a parent
imposing their belief systems on the child through an extended period
of inadvertent repetition.
According to Garbarino et al. (1986), psychological maltreatment can be
viewed as a pattern of adult behavior which is psychologically
destructive to the child, sabotaging the child's appropriate normal
development of self and social competence. To assist with a framework
for understanding brainwashing and parental alienation concepts, five
types of psychological maltreatment identified by Garbarino et al. were
adapted by Rand (1997) to apply to the Parental Alienation Syndrome
(PAS):
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1. | Rejecting
- The child's legitimate need for a relationship with both parents is
rejected. The child has reason to fear rejection and abandonment by the
alienating parent if positive feelings are expressed about the other
parent and the people and activities associated with that parent.
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2. | Terrorizing
- The child is bullied or verbally assaulted into being terrified of
the target parent. The child is psychologically brutalized into fearing
contact with the target parent and retribution by the alienating parent
for any positive feelings the child might have for the other parent.
Psychological abuse of this type may be accompanied by physical abuse.
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3. | Ignoring
- The parent is emotionally unavailable to the child, leading to
feelings of neglect and abandonment. Divorced parents may selectively
withhold love and attention from the child, a subtler form of rejecting
which shapes the child's behavior.
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4. | Isolating
- The parent isolates the child from normal opportunities for social
relations. In PAS, the child is prevented from participating in normal
social interactions with the target parent and relatives and friends on
that side of the family. In severe PAS, social isolation of the child
sometimes extends beyond the target parent to any social contacts which
might foster autonomy and independence.
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5. | Corrupting
- The child is missocialized and reinforced by the alienating parent
for lying, manipulation, aggression toward others or behavior which is
self destructive. In PAS with false allegations of abuse, the child is
also corrupted by repeated involvement in discussions of deviant
sexuality regarding the target parent or other family and friends
associated with that parent. In some cases of severe PAS, the
alienating parent trains the child to be an agent of aggression against
the target parent, with the child actively participating in deceits and
manipulations for the purpose of harassing and persecuting the target
parent.
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Separation Anxiety and Fear of Abandonment.
Separation Anxiety and fear of abandonment is noteworthy enough that it
deserves mention separate from fear and learned helplessness. While
manifestations of this problem may also meet the criteria for
Overanxious Disorder of Childhood, in this instance features are more
specific to having been removed from and seemingly abandoned by a
parent. As mentioned above, the child may have no way of knowing what
attempts the abandoned parent may be making for rescue, may believe to
have been deserted by that parent, and may have been convinced by the
abducting parent that the abandoned parent is deceased or no longer
cares about the child.
According to the DSM-IV (1994), Separation Anxiety is manifested by
developmentally inappropriate and excessive anxiety concerning
separation from home or from those to whom the individual is attached,
as evidenced by three (or more) of the following:
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1. | Recurrent excessive distress when separation from home or major attachment figures occurs or is anticipated;
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2. | Persistent and excessive worry about losing, or about possible harm befalling, major attachment figures;
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3. | Persistent
and excessive worry that an untoward event will lead to separation from
a major attachment figure (e.g., getting lost or being kidnapped);
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4. | Persistent reluctance or refusal to go to school or elsewhere because of fear of separation;
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5. | Persistently
and excessively fearful or reluctant to be alone or without major
attachment figures at home or without significant adults in other
settings;
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6. | Persistent reluctance or refusal to go to sleep without being near a near a major attachment figure or to sleep away from home;
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7. | Repeated nightmares involving the theme of separation;
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8. | Repeated
complaints of physical symptoms (such as headaches, stomachaches,
nausea, or vomiting) when separation from major attachment figures
occurs or is anticipated.
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The duration of the disturbance is at least 4 weeks. The onset is
before age 18 years. The disturbance causes clinically significant
distress or impairment in social, academic (occupational), or other
important areas of functioning (DSM-IV, 1994).
Even children who have not suffered the trauma of abduction may
experience Separation Anxiety and fear of abandonment. The death of a
parent, family member, or friend's parent, as well as extended absences
of one parent and other factors normally expected in life may
contribute to separation anxiety. That being the case, one can only
imagine the degree of Separation Anxiety experienced by a child who
believes to have been abandoned by a parent as a consequence of
parental abduction circumstances.
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Grief.
Siegelman (1983), an expert on grief, contends that change is upsetting
because we are leaving a part of ourselves behind. Any change involves
loss of the known and relinquishing of a reality that has contributed
to understanding and consistency. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a well
respected authority on grief, suggests that the second most intense
life stress, second to death, is divorce or loss of a love
relationship. "Love relationship" in this sense applies to all familial
and close relationships, e.g., husband-wife, parent-child, siblings,
etc.
Not only does an abducted child experience the physical distancing and
loss of a parent, the child may also be lead to believe the parent is
deceased. Parent abductors are frequently known to invent stories about
the abandoned parent to silence the frightened child's questioning.
With the death of a parent, generally comes loss of attachment,
history, and roots. According to Ross, a sudden, unexpected loss is
usually harder to accept than an anticipated loss for which we have had
time to prepare, as is the case for a kidnapped child.
Loss and grief experts also agree that the loss of a person on whom we
are dependent is difficult to handle, especially if that dependency
left us without a life of our own and incompetent to care for ourselves
-- like that of an abducted child kidnapped from a parent on whom he or
she was dependent. Also, the assistance from personal support systems
-- family and friends -- is an important factor in recovering from a
loss. Support for such losses are likely to be especially weak when one
lives away from family or has few friends, such as the grief-stricken
child who was removed from their own support and reality. An abducted
child has lost most, if not all support systems.
So, added to the abducted child's long laundry list of challenges,
problems, stressors, and confusions, -- is grief. Grief for the absent
parent, for a life that no longer exists, for friends and loved ones,
and for the certainty and comfort of life as it was.
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What has been reported about abducted children?
According to Greif (1999) in his personal lecture notes on "The Impact
of Parental Abduction on Children," the following have been experienced
by "children on the run," whether they remain within their country of
origin or are taken across international borders:
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1. | Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse (the range being from 6% with Finkelhor, to higher with others);
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2. | Neglect in terms of care, feeding, and psychological nurturing;
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3. | Specific
training in how to be secretive in relation to hiding a sense of self,
hiding accomplishments, distrusting authorities, etc.;
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4. | Being
lied to about the searching parent, including being told the searching
parent has abandoned the child, doesn't love the child, or the
searching parent is dead;
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5. | Being
moved constantly and denied contact for any significant time with any
one other than the abductor - this may include being cut-off from
contact with siblings, teachers, friends, grandparents, and other
relatives;
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6. | In
addition, and on a more complex level, an abducted child is exposed to
a dynamic situation where the child may take on an inappropriate, more
adult-like role. In one scenario, the child may become the protector or
caretaker of the abductor, if the abductor appears in need of emotional
reassurance. In another scenario, the child over-identifies with the
abductor in an "us against them" mentality where distrust of authority
is the norm. One possible result of either dynamic is that the located
child remains with the abductor!
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Confirming the discussions above about the impact of child abduction,
Greif adds that according to the literature, upon recovery the child
may experience:
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1. | Concerns about safety and reabduction;
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2. | Guilt and shame;
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3. | Confusion about his or her identity if there has been a name change;
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4. | Loyalty conflicts between the searching parent and the abductor with whom the child may have identified;
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5. | Specific problems like depression, anxiety, anomie, bedwetting, thumb-sucking; and
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6. | Psychological regression, withdrawal, PTSD-like symptoms, and extreme fright.
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Conclusion
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"As adults, many victims of bitter custody battles who had been
permanently removed from a target parent, whisked away to a new town
and given a new identity, still long to be reunited with the lost
parent. The loss cannot be undone. Childhood cannot be recaptured. Gone
forever is that sense of history, intimacy, lost input of values and
morals, self-awareness through knowing one's beginnings, love, contact
with extended family, and much more. Virtually no child possesses the
ability to protect him- or herself against such an undignified and
total loss" (Clawar & Rivlin, p. 105).
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