Divorced Japanese struggle for right to see kids

TOKYO, Feb 18 (Reuters) - When Naoki Miyoshi realised he would probably never see his daughter again, he had her name tattooed on his arm.

"I won't forget her. I look at it every day and wonder what she's doing," the 45-year-old divorced father said in an interview. "She was a real daddy's girl."

Miyoshi, who runs his own advertising business, has not seen his daughter for five of her six years.

He is far from unique in Japan, where the end of a marriage often means one parent disappearing from their children's lives for ever -- the highest-profile example being provided by Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.

Koizumi took custody of two of his three sons when his marriage broke down 20 years ago and is reported to have denied his ex-wife access to them, while refusing to see the youngest, who lived with his mother.

Rising divorce rates mean hundreds of thousands more children are being affected each year. In 2002, there were 2.3 divorces per thousand people, roughly double the rate 25 years earlier and comparable with the 2.4 per thousand level in Germany. Around 300,000 children were involved.

Miyoshi's wife walked out of their Tokyo home one night in 1999 and returned to her parents' house, taking their only child, a 14-month-old girl, with her. Miyoshi says he has given up hope of seeing his daughter again.

As in about 80 percent of Japanese divorces, Miyoshi's wife won the custody battle. And like many divorced Japanese fathers, Miyoshi ended up with no visiting rights, despite pursuing his case to the High Court.

"The feeling is that men should be concentrating on their work," said lawyer Yasuo Kuroki, who has dealt with about 10 similar cases.

"They are not supposed to mind being cut off from their children, even though more and more men involve themselves in child-rearing these days."

He estimates between half and a third of divorced people in Japan are unable to contact their children.

One Japanese television programme focuses on the resulting heartache, bringing long-separated family members together for tearful reunions.

Dividing the upbringing of children between the two halves of an estranged couple is not necessarily easy in any country, but in Japan it is virtually impossible.

Joint custody, now encouraged in many U.S. states, is not permitted. Court orders on visiting are difficult to enforce.

"Divorce rates are rising, but we still have a law that was passed decades ago and doesn't match the reality," said Kazuya Oshima, 32, a divorced father who has managed to see his two-year-old son for only 15 minutes in the past year.

Both Oshima and Miyoshi are members of Fathers' Web site, a group campaigning for changes in the law to allow joint custody and enforceable visiting rights.

Their low-key methods are a far cry from the costumed roof-top protests that have gained media attention for Fathers4Justice, a group in Britain with similar aims.

It is not only men who find themselves cut off from their children under Japan's current legislation.

Mayumi, a 37-year-old civil servant, divorced five years ago and has not seen her six-year-old son for two years, despite having been awarded custody by the courts.

She says her mistake was to leave the child with her former partner for what she thought would be a few days.

"When I went to pick my son up, my ex-husband said he would rather kill all three of us than hand him over," she said. With no way of enforcing the court order, Mayumi was powerless.

Oshima says cases like this show that the current law encourages child abduction.

"In other words, the person who grabs the kids first wins, even if they are mentally unstable or have no income," he said.

The question of enshrining visiting rights in law has been put on the back burner after being considered several years ago, according to a Justice Ministry official, but ruling coalition lawmaker Toshiko Hayamotsu says she wants to revive the idea.

"Even if parents separate, their children still need them. Children need to know that both parents love them," the former lawyer said.

Not all divorce lawyers agree.

"In cases where the child is very small, the mother has to be present during the visits. That can be very painful," said lawyer Yukiko Tsunoda.

Miyoshi is determined to bring about a change in the law.

"If I can't see my daughter, I at least want to help other people avoid the same situation," he said. "Let her be the last to suffer like this."

Editing by Michael Watson