Part 4 of 4: Japanese laws ‘erase’ American father

Dec. 12, 2006
By Kirsten Brown
Scripps Howard Foundation Wire

WASHINGTON – One of the last times Brett Weed saw his 6-year-old son, Takoda, the pair was driving in Weed's black Ford pick-up, the one that his son liked to call, "Daddy's big truck."

That was also the day Takoda cheerfully announced, "I have a Japanese daddy."

Takoda's babyish words threw Weed, 42, but it confirmed what he had long suspected: his ex-wife, Kyoko Oda, was slowly replacing him not only as a spouse but also as a father.

Oda, 38, completed her replacement of Weed on Jan. 15, 2004, when she moved to Japan with Takoda and their 2-year-old daughter, Tiana, severing all contact.

Oda moved to Japan with the consent of a U.S. court but was ordered to allow frequent visitation between Weed and his children as well as communication through Web cams and phone calls. None of these agreements was ever followed, Weed said.

As a result, a court in Portland , Ore., granted Weed full custody. Even so, he has been unable to make contact with them since that day in the truck.

Compounding the problem, Japan's Ministry of Justice officials made little effort to serve Oda with the court documents, said Bradley Lechman-Su, Weed's attorney.

"They have more or less boxed out any attempts to serve court documents, if the person doesn't want to be served," Lechman-Su said. "Any Japanese official is not going to go out of their way to serve court documents on a Japanese national when those court documents are from another country."
Takoda turned 9 in November. Weed wanted to send his son a present, but he has no idea where he is.

"When they left, he was just starting to get to the age where he would show interest in hobbies," Weed said, "the kinds of things that I wanted to share with him and support. We could have worked in the shop together. But by the time I ever see him again, he will be past all that."

Weed grasps at these thin memories he retains of his children, who never age in his mind. He remembers how Tiana's petite face would blossom into a big grin when he came into view.

Now Weed fears that Oda may be telling Tiana and her brother that he is dead or, worse, that he doesn't love them.

Abducting parents often make such excuses for the absent parent, said Geoffrey Greif, University of Maryland professor of social work.
"They will say something like, ‘If Daddy loved you, he would call you,' or, ‘Your father was not treating you well. Only I know how to treat you,'" said the co-author of "When Parents Kidnap."

Greif said that Weed's apprehension for his children's future emotional health is not unfounded.

"There is a range of stories that leave the abducted child unable to trust the parent and unable to trust the environment in general," Greif said. "When they become adults, they are unable to feel comfortable falling in love with people and trust them."

Until or unless Japan revamps its judicial system to better enforce its feeble civil laws, Lechman-Su said, it's up to U.S. courts to familiarize themselves with the consequences of sanctioning a divorced Japanese national's move to Japan.

"If they allow a Japanese national to return to Japan with children ... it just completely leaves it in their hands," he said.

In the end, Tiana and Takoda are cut off from not only half of their family but also half their background, Weed said.

"These kids are 50 percent Japanese, 50 percent American," Weed said. "Half their culture is being wiped out. It's basically being erased."