When You Are Afraid Your Japanese Spouse Will Abduct Your Children... (inside Japan)

Things are not going well in your relationship, and you are afraid that your Japanese partner might run away with your child.  Here is some advice if you are living in Japan already   If you believe you will end up in a divorce, or that you spouse may forge a divorce agreement, see the section on When You Are Afraid Your Japanese Spouse Will Divorce You.

(Sorry, I just moved this checklist to organize this and some new information better.)

First, examine the Just In Case of Parental Abduction Checklist  to see how to prepare for the event that your children may be parentally abducted.

It is unclear whether or not Japan has laws against perjury in civil court.  (There seem to be in criminal court, although the current comment may not be far off in criminal court either.)   Even if there are perjury laws, it has been reported by people who asked their lawyers, that a judge virtually never penalizes a person for lying, especially in the Family Court.  Only when the lies are so egregious and the other person is able to prove it, is perjury likely to matter.  So the moral of this story is that you should keep records of things that your spouse may try to lie about in court during a divorce or a custody hearing, such as

• Who paid for living expenses.  Keep receipts of major purchases such as your house.  (Definitely make sure the house is jointly registered, not just one of you.)
• Rent payments.
• Pictures of the house and neighborhood of where you lived if overseas so he/she cannot claim you lived in a slum.
• Bank books showing how much money he/she withdrew from your account to prove how much you gave them to live on.  (This is tricky as it could also be later used to establish alimony.  We support alimony, but it needs to be fair and linked to child visitation if appropriate.)
• Receipts of medical treatment, records of who called for help and when if s/he tries to commit suicide, etc.
• Names of police contacted if you ever have to call the police.
• If your spouse is abusive, you certainly want to try to get a voice recording with a hidden recorder.  And if they threaten over the phone, same thing.  You would want to record it.  Save those answering machine tapes with nasty messages!   <Link to section on tape recording>

If you have not been living in Japan for 6 months yet, leave.  Get out.  Although Japan has not ratified the Hague Convention on International Child Abduction, 6 months is the generally accepted time required to establish habitual residency. (Although some countries also make you wait for a year.)  Some countries like the UK, reportedly treat Japan as if they had really signed this convention, and might return you to Japan otherwise.  Its gravely unfair to the non-Japanese parent as Japan will not treat their own citizens the same way.

One member writes:

I would suggest that your friend lie low as long as possible, and plan carefully. Consult with her embassy and a Japanese lawyer without letting her husband know. Don't let the child out of her sight, especially alone with her husband. Most stories I have heard start by saying that when someone got home from work, the house was empty. (Mine too.) To prepare for the worst, without garnering attention from the husband, gather as much information as possible about his relatives, their addresses, phone numbers, his friends, his work place, work friends, etc and write it down. Get his passport number. If he runs, you want to know where to look. Get a good clear picture of him and one of the baby every few months. If she is not officially registered in Japan as his wife, on his koseki, AND the child is not registered, keep it that way. (In instances where the couple is not married, the woman gets custody automatically.) If the child is on his koseki, make sure she gets listed immediately, although she probably already is. If the child is not on it yet, keep him off. Get a copy of the koseki. She can do this without his help or approval if she is already listed on it, but she will need to know the "address" of the koseki, which is not necessarily the address they reside at. If she is not listed, she might still be able to get a copy if she can bring evidence of their marriage and perhaps a Zyuuminhyou, etc. If not, ask the lawyer to get a copy. Lawyers can do this. (One charged me 20,000 yen once and said to make sure to say its for preparing a lawsuit if I was asked, but he did it.) Store all this info where the husband cannot get it. (There are safe deposit boxes in Japan if you look for them.)

I'm not sure what the result of her consultation with the embassy and the lawyers would or should be. But the husband certainly seems like an "in country" abduction risk that she should prepare for. I hate to scare you, but I have also recently heard that some mothers have gotten restraining orders while the visitation or custody battle went on. (You never know the real story behind these, but one guy claims even the order is racially prejudiced. Im trying to get a copy to post.)

<TODO: This is mostly advice for a non-Japanese.  Rewrite to apply to Japanese also.>
<TODO: Add a special section on what to do if spouse or child abuse is occuring. Perhaps on main menu under Help Now...>

<TODO: [REVISE FOLLOWING AND POINT TO A COMMON PERJURY SECTION]>